Shop Official Merch

Description: It’s a designer bag. Technically. Is it designer? Someone designed it. Is it a bag? Absolutely. So we really don’t see the issue. The Designer Bag is for anyone who appreciates fashion, irony, and taking things just a little too literally. Featuring the words “DESIGNER BAG” right on the bag itself, it delivers luxury-label energy without actually needing a luxury label. Use it for errands, groceries, travel, everyday essentials—or carry it alongside your actual designer bag for a little extra confusion. Simple. Functional. Exclusive-ish. DESIGNER BAG No waitlist required.

Description: Let everyone know how cool you are because you're wearing a designer tee shirt. Bold, minimalist, and dripping with irony, this tee is a wink at high-fashion culture: you’re wearing it like it cost $900, but it’s really about attitude.

Description: We believe everything works out. We’re just not making any promises about the timeline. The Everything Works Out — Eventually design is a little optimism with a healthy dose of reality. Featuring a vintage-inspired mountain, sunrise, and winding-road design, it’s a reminder that sometimes getting where you’re supposed to be involves a few unexpected turns along the way. For the plans that changed. The things that didn’t happen when you thought they would. The detours that somehow turned into the right direction. And those moments when all you can really do is keep going and trust that eventually, things have a way of working themselves out. It’s encouraging without taking itself too seriously—which is kind of the point.

Description: For richer, for poorer, for green days and red days. Being a Trader Wife is basically its own asset class. You know the market opens at 9:30. You know there are days when it’s better not to ask how trading went. You’ve celebrated the wins, survived the drawdowns, and learned that “I’ll be done in five minutes” absolutely does not mean five minutes. The Trader Wife T-Shirt is for the woman behind the trader—the unofficial risk manager, emotional support department, market therapist, and long-term holder. Wear it proudly. After all, you might not place the trades…but you're definitely invested.

Description: R1, R1, Circle, R2, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down If you know, you know. No explanation. No context. Just a sequence permanently stored somewhere in the brain of anyone who spent enough time holding a controller. To the right people? Core memory unlocked. The Cheat Code T-Shirt is a subtle nod to the era when cheat codes were passed between friends, scribbled on pieces of paper, and somehow memorized more permanently than anything we were supposed to be learning in school. Finished with a simple controller graphic underneath, it’s nostalgic gaming humor without announcing that it’s nostalgic gaming humor. Those who get it will get it. Those who don't? We're not explaining it.

Description: Sometimes silence is golden—and this shirt says it loud and clear. With the witty phrase "Your Two Cents Cost a Penny Too Much" front and center, this is perfect for anyone who appreciates sarcasm, values their peace, or just loves a clever comeback. Made from soft, breathable cotton, it's as comfortable as it is cutting. Wear it to family dinners, office meetings, or anywhere unsolicited opinions roam free.

Description: Because having all the answers sounds exhausting. What are we doing? Where are we going? What’s for dinner? What’s the five-year plan? IDK. And honestly, there’s something freeing about that. The IDK T-Shirt says everything you need to say with three simple letters: I Don’t Know. It’s minimal, slightly sarcastic, incredibly relatable, and conveniently applicable to approximately 87% of life's questions. Wear it when you're confused. Wear it when you don't have an opinion. Wear it when you absolutely have an opinion but don't feel like explaining it. Sometimes the most accurate answer really is just: IDK. Simple. Honest. Efficient.

Description: Love is patient. I am working on it. Some parts of love come naturally. Patience is apparently more of an ongoing professional development opportunity. Inspired by the words we all know — and the reality of actually trying to live them — the LOVE IS PATIENT tee is equal parts meaningful, self-aware, and just sarcastic enough. For marriage. For motherhood. For family. For the person chewing too loudly next to you. For the child who has asked the same question fourteen times. And for every other daily opportunity life generously provides to practice patience. Wear it as a reminder that love may be patient… and you're doing your best. Perfect for anyone who loves deeply, laughs at themselves, and remains a work in progress.

Description: Make a statement without saying a word in our “Designer T-Shirt”—the ultimate flex for anyone who loves looking bougie, even if it’s all in good fun. Bold, minimalist, and dripping with irony, this tee is a wink at high-fashion culture: you’re wearing it like it cost $900, but it’s really about attitude. Crafted from premium, soft cotton for that “I spent way too much and I don’t even care” feel, it fits like a dream whether you’re brunching, window-shopping in the luxury district, or just lounging at home in unapologetic style. Pair it with tailored pants, oversized sunglasses, or your go-to designer knockoffs for the full vibe. For the unapologetically extra, the effortlessly cool, and anyone who likes their humor with a side of haute c

Description: Placebos 🍆 Work Part 2: Is it funny because it’s true… or true because it’s funny? Either way, it works. Subtle, smart, and just a little bit ironic—our “Placebos Work” tee is made for those who appreciate humor with a brainy twist. Whether you’re into science, psychology, or just love a good tongue-in-cheek statement, this shirt delivers the perfect mix of wit and minimalism.

Description: Is it funny because it’s true… or true because it’s funny? Either way, it works. Subtle, smart, and just a little bit ironic—our “Placebos Work” tee is made for those who appreciate humor with a brainy twist. Whether you’re into science, psychology, or just love a good tongue-in-cheek statement, this shirt delivers the perfect mix of wit and minimalism.

Description: Celebrate in style with our “Cinco De Drinko” graphic tee—your go-to shirt for margaritas, good vibes, and festive fun. Designed for comfort and a little bit of attitude, this tee features bold, eye-catching lettering that instantly sets the tone for any Cinco celebration, girls’ night, or casual happy hour.

Description: She’s making t-shirts now. Yes. Yes she is. Because every creative phase deserves its moment. This tee is for the entrepreneurs, hobby hoppers, side-quest queens, and anyone who’s ever said “why not?” Soft, comfy, and just ironic enough.

Description: Whether you're embracing your inner golden girl or just appreciate a good ironic flex, this shirt says: timeless, fabulous, and not to be messed with.

Description: “My Weighted Vest” – for when life’s heavy enough already. This tee is a hilarious take on fitness culture, boldly claiming what it’s clearly not. Soft, lightweight, and absolutely not adding resistance — except maybe to taking things too seriously. Wear it to the gym, school pickup, or your next emotional marathon.

Description: For every creative impulse, side hustle era, or chaotic rebrand moment. Whether you’re actually stringing beads or just embracing the vibe, this says it all — with just the right amount of ironic self-awareness.

Description: This “Dad Bod” t-shirt brings the muscle and the humor. For dad it’s the perfect mix of self-awareness and swagger. Soft, comfy, and guaranteed to get a nod (or a chuckle) wherever dad goes.